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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316006">Made in You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/teejplease/pseuds/teejplease'>teejplease</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, No Beta, PMS made me do it, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, do not copy to another site, no beta we die like men, we start with krisxsuho and move past that real quick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:15:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24316006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/teejplease/pseuds/teejplease</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>”Please promise me one thing:<br/>Will you always stay by my side?”<br/>- 'Made in You', Suho </i><br/><br/>Junmyeon's love has a lot of practice waiting.  This is how it goes over the years.</p><p>Also read as: love is patient but not always kind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Made in You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were too new in the business to even be thinking of doing this kind of thing: a pressing of hands here, a lingering look between changing outfits, and occasionally (if they were lucky enough) a quick meeting of their lips.  It was all very chaste and hurried – innocent even.  </p><p>Junmyeon (<i>Suho, it’s Suho now </i>– he should get used to his new name) had been naturally blessed with a baroque-esque pout and dewy gaze.  He had the unfortunate quality of looking exactly as he was: a romantic.  </p><p>His soul longed for companionship and his hands were made to shelter others.  His heart had a lot to give.   </p><p>So, it was easy for Junmyeon to fantasize about future plans: when Kris and he were being less scrutinized and they could explore being together in the future.  The possibilities were limited but the thrills were endless (especially to a teenage boy whose tongue burned hot with the taste of first love).  He felt like he was holding a breath of air right before leaping off a cliff, Kris right beside him.  His insides thrummed with excitement and joy. </p><p>But, for now, Junmyeon’s love is waiting.  </p><p><br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
</p><p>The first upheaval of his life and he wasn’t ready.</p><p>When did it go wrong? </p><p>He didn’t even know.  He hadn’t seen it coming, is the thing.  </p><p>Maybe if Junmyeon had paid more attention, had looked more closely (instead of keeping his head pointed towards their shared dreams) he would’ve been prepared – felt less like a collapsed ramshackle building in an uncontrollable disarray after an earthquake.  </p><p>(<i>Maybe he should've taken the hint from the furrowed brow Kris nearly constantly sported, the tortured gaze, the blade of a clenched jaw. Maybe Kris also had the unfortunate quality of looking exactly as he was: a heartbreaker.</i>) </p><p>Betrayal and hurt bubbled inside of Junmyeon: bright purple – toxic and fresh.  Threaded through was a bittersweet taste shading memories that were once dear - like Kris’ wry grin calling him the “mother” of the group, the understanding of their eyes meeting in sync regardless if they were by themselves or with others, the curl of a lanky arm around his shoulders (close but never clutching) – a taste that Junmyeon tried to ignore was there.  It was shaped like his mouth when he was calling Kris’ name but sounded like hope.  </p><p>Despite the blindsiding pain of a fresh wound, Junmyeon still had hope – at least that Kris would reach out to him and explain.</p><p>He rubbed his chest but knew the ache wouldn’t be resolved that easily.  Maybe his hope would not go unanswered.</p><p>So, still, Junmyeon’s love is waiting.  </p><p><br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Junmyeon was a pretty good leader. He made sure to prepare for any kind of instance (no more surprises like Kris..  Tao and Luhan) and made sure that everyone was happy or on their way to being happy. Which made every time he was taken by surprise so overwhelming. </p><p>It sounded stupid. He sounded stupid - like a heartsick tween. <i>But - </i></p><p>When did Sehun get so statuesque? His stride had become purposeful and every dance move was precise and powerful.  The graceful curves of his forearms were hypnotizing every time he pushed up his sleeves.  The darkness of his hair flashed against the brightness of skin.  His face relaxed into a regal bearing without any effort on his part.</p><p>It had felt like Junmyeon’s gaze had been turned outward for years as he sheltered Sehun from the ruthless inspection of the outside world.  When Junmyeon had finally turned his gaze towards the youth who still occasionally shivered and whined under his arm, Junmyeon had been taken aback by the transformation of a petulant lower lip to sinful, ambiguous smirk.  The gaze that had been so wide-eyed and bright, questioning everything around them had turned mysterious and piercing (though still always looking for answers to every question he could think of).  Yet still, the naivety echoed in every part of Sehun’s lanky frame when he bothered to get out of his head and engage with the world.  </p><p>Junmyeon wondered how long he had felt this way towards the maknae without realizing.  After all, longing for someone when they were close but so far was familiar, but it no longer tasted like the ash of his memories from almost a decade previous of the romance that never truly blossomed between him and Kris. </p><p>Junmyeon knew himself – knew that he had the unfortunate quality of looking exactly as he was.  </p><p>It would only take a single look from anyone who knew him to know what he bore in his heart.</p><p>Sehun didn’t need to know that Junmyeon was beginning to feel differently towards him.  At least not now – not when Sehun’s shoulders were broadening and beginning to able to push himself through the world (yet still, he kept turning back to look to see if his hyung was following him, which he was - an ever waiting knight).  Junmyeon would pretend until at least the façade became reality or it became too large a burden to bare.</p><p>Junmyeon resolved himself to being devoted but not enamored.  </p><p>So, hidden under the propriety of his responsibility as a leader, Junmyeon’s love is waiting.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>-</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Enlistment: it had come sooner than anyone had expected, most of all him.  </p><p>An unfortunate side effect of being a leader is that you can become so focused on everyone else that you can forget about yourself.  Almost ten years in the business with boys he watched and supported become men, who watched and supported him in turn, and now –</p><p>What? <i><b>More waiting?</b></i></p><p>Junmyeon was tired of waiting.  Almost ten years and what did he have to show for it besides a family of brothers and a pair of unrequited love stories?  His heart had a lot to give but was also so easy to break – he was tired of being the one breaking it himself.  </p><p>He knew it was his fault for never reaching out and grabbing onto love that was in his grasp but it didn’t change the fact that it hurt so badly.  The taste of hope and affection was turning into the acrid melt of cowardice in his mouth.</p><p>But Junmyeon knew himself – knew that he had the unfortunate quality of looking exactly as he was.  Thankfully, he had grown practiced over the years in feigning other emotions (mostly that he was doing okay when he wasn’t). </p><p>So, he laughed and smiled and greeted every one of his members who came to bid him goodbye for his enlistment.  He cooed happily over photos of Jongdae’s new baby (“Our youngest member!” he had crowed in glee).  He pretended like his chest didn’t burn with the need to release tears when Sehun grew standoffish and stood farthest from him when it came time to take photos.   He clenched his fingers into his palms so his hands wouldn’t pull the younger man to him.</p><p>
  <i>(Almost ten years and what did he have to show for it besides a family of brothers and a pair of unrequited love stories?)</i>
</p><p>He wasn’t too surprised that Sehun lingered longer than most, despite his blasé demeanor. The others had responsibilities that they were mature enough to know when it was appropriate to leave – Junmyeon bore them no ill will for departing.  Sehun staying even if he had scheduled duties the next day was par the course; despite the strength and dignity naturally built into his shoulders, Sehun was still a mooch and a lush.  </p><p>The aloof veneer Sehun was known for cracked like it usually did: a bare sliver then all at once.  His cheeks were rosy and his giggle free as he playfully shoved Junmyeon as he poured his hyung another shot against Junmyeon’s pleas.  Despite his inner turmoil, Junmyeon could only mirror Sehun’s joy back to him – after all, it wasn’t Sehun’s fault that Junmyeon had never confessed.  Junmyeon wasn’t angry at him.  </p><p>Despite outstripping Junmyeon in height and breadth a long time ago, Sehun still liked feeling small around his hyungs.  He would curl into whosever side he felt like doing so. Junmyeon didn’t think anything of it when the maknae did it now (he just ignored the thrumming of his own heart at the action).</p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun murmured into Junmyeon’s collarbone.</p><p>The leader hummed wordlessly, encouraging the younger to continue.</p><p>“Hyung,” Sehun murmured again, even softer.  </p><p>Something in his voice pinged an anntena in Junmyeon’s mind – he turned his head to look at Sehun only to be stopped by the younger’s hand pushing Junmyeon’s face away from looking at him.  Junmyeon let his chin be pushed, indulgent to the casual disrespect even with his heart aching.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Junmyeon asked, just as quiet.  </p><p>A long pause as Junmyeon could feel Sehun breathing through his vulnerability, gathering up strength.</p><p>And then, whispered, “Hyung, will you remember me?”</p><p>Junmyeon fought the urge to laugh and scream.  <i>Careful, Suho, careful – you have the unfortunate quality of looking exactly as you are.</i></p><p>Junmyeon breathed through his own inner turmoil before answering, “Of course, I’ll remember you.  I’ll be annoying you with all my texts still.”</p><p>Another pause before Sehun breathed against Junmyeon’s neck, “Promise?”</p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>The immediate reply must’ve not been believable to Sehun because Junmyeon could feel the jut of Sehun’s pout against his collar.</p><p>“You have to keep this promise,” the petulant decree of Junmyeon’s true sovereign to his hapless knight.  "Hyung," another appeal.</p><p>“I promise,” Junmyeon stated softly but firmly.  He rubbed his hand up and down Sehun’s shoulder in placation.  He wondered if Sehun would remember that he had begged for this oath when Junmyeon was bound to start annoying him with texts and calls.  </p><p>For moments they sat cuddled together, breathing each other’s presence in.  Junmyeon knew that Sehun drew comfort from their closeness – Junmyeon had been caring for Sehun for so long that this was probably scary for him, too.    </p><p>Sehun broke the silence again.  “… Ask… ask me why I need this promise, hyung.”  He pushed Junmyeon’s face away when the elder tried to look at him again.  “I can’t say it if you’re looking,” came the whine.</p><p>Junmyeon chuckled fondly.  “Okay, okay,” he placated.  “Why do you need this promise?”  He asked indulgently as he crystalized the memory of the warmth of Sehun pressed hip to hip to him in this moment to examine and cherish in the future.  </p><p>Sehun’s breath came out unevenly against his skin before he murmured, clearly but shyly to a familiar beat, “I just need you, because you know without you, the me of now doesn’t exist.”(1)</p><p>Junmyeon’s head whipped so fast to look at Sehun that he jostled them both.  Their eyes met and Sehun’s mouth turned up shyly at the corners.  He licked his lips.</p><p>“I don’t know who that song is about,” the younger said haltingly but gaining confidence with every second that Junmyeon didn’t ask him to stop, “but when I heard you sing it, it reminded me of how I feel for you.”  </p><p>Junmyeon gaped.  As the words registered in his mind, his eyes began to crest with tears (he had always been an easy crier).</p><p>For Sehun to say that Junmyeon’s song about needing the person you loved with you always had reminded the younger of Junmyeon - for Sehun to recite the lyrics Junmyeon had to release into the world so their weight might stop choking him.  </p><p>The possibility of his object of affections returning his feelings was staggering.  (Deep inside him, hope began blooming once more: beautiful and fragrant, though slightly interspersed with thorns.)</p><p>Junmyeon knew waiting - was familiar and practiced in it. He was surprised by how easy it was to give in and stop - to finally reach out his hands and be given what he had been always been scared to ask for.</p><p>“You,” he finally gasped.  The truth tasted sweet in his mouth after shedding the pretense of all these years.  “<i><b>The song is about you</b></i>.”  He could hear his own dopey disbelief coloring his voice. </p><p>Sehun’s mouth broke into a wide grin and he began giggling before pressing himself closer.  And Junmyeon finally let himself embrace someone he loved the way he had always wanted.</p><p>"Well then," Sehun said wryly, the familiar mischief in his eyes as he settled comfortably into the circle of Junmyeon's arms, already so sure of his place in them, "sounds like I can get another promise out of you."  </p><p>And Junmyeon </p><p>finally</p><p>let</p><p>himself </p><p>
  <i>fall.</i>
</p><p><br/>
-<br/>
</p><p>
  <i>”Please promise me one thing:<br/>
Will you always stay by my side?” (2)<br/>
</i>
</p><p><br/>
-<br/>
</p><p>Two years of mandated service: a long time – but not long enough to forget a promise long time coming.</p><p>So, for now (in a high-rise, luxury Seoul apartment) Junmyeon’s love is waiting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(1) and (2) Lyrics from <a href="https://lyricskpop.net/lyrics/suho-exo-made-in-you-english-translation/">this english translation of Made in You. </a></p><p> So, put your finger down if you saw the pics of Exo saying bye to Suho before his enlistment and the photos knocked something loose that rattled in your brain till you had to write it down. Oh... just me? (ಥ﹏ಥ)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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